We went on a trip to the Big Horn Mountains recently to show my oldest bonus son, visiting from Georgia, a taste of the beauty of Wyoming & the Red Wall. I spent most of my childhood in that area. As a kid, every summer weekend was filled with camping, riding in the back of a truck, picking wild flowers, hunting rocks, playing in streams, & “roughing it”. My parents divorced when I was 17 but those trips with each of them didn’t stop, they just changed a little. I went with my dad alone & we just went dinging around taking misc dirt two track roads, & went with my mom & step dad to areas we hadn’t spent time as kids. (If you have heard of Billy the Kid, we were all over his territory) My parents have both passed now, leaving me with the most amazing memories of that area that I now share with my own son and my bonus kiddos.

As we were heading down somehow the conversation went to “If you had 3 wishes, what would you wish for”. They were all convinced that one of my wishes would be for my parents to still be alive. I told them that if I wished that, then I would be messing with the past & who knows who I would be because everything we go through in our lives makes us who we are. This seemed to appease them & we continued to their wishes that included wishing for more wishes, more money for our family to travel, & unicorns being real…

Now the adult version of why I wouldn’t wish my parents wouldn’t have passed away…

My dad was an alcoholic. He had solid reasons for his drinking, I know that now that I am older. He passed away when I was 29, we had made peace with each other & I had accepted that it was probably better for him to drink because detoxing would more than likely kill him anyway. He had an amazing heart & would go out of his way for anyone. He believed every stranger was a friend you just hadn’t met yet. He was a proud school bus driver for our small town for 15 yrs & doing that job gave him his reason to be sober 8 hours a day. He lost it due to a DUI on a weekend, going out of his way to help someone who was pulled off the highway. That someone was a Highway Patrol. He understood animals & children more than he did adults. Kids didn’t judge him because they were too young to know what that meant, and animals see your soul, not the beer in your hand. He passed away alone in his camp trailer with a beer can next to his bed. I believe he was happy when cirrhosis of the liver forced his last drink. I am ALL his good qualities & my son didn’t grow up with an alcoholic parent. My son didn’t even see me drink until he was around 10. He thought it was weird & that made me a proud mom.

My mom was a blast growing up & was the most positive person I’ve ever known. She started water fights in the kitchen, pranks were a regular thing, & scary movies with popcorn happened at least once a weekend. She was a hippy before dad dragged her to Wyoming. She loved nature, burning incense, astrology, & many other holistic type shit that she kept under wraps if she didn’t think someone cared for that vibe. She made our childhood fun amidst the fights her & dad had, making jokes the next day about how dad was getting good at patching holes in the wall. He never hit her, but the walls got their asses kicked. She was great at throwing plastic dishes but dad was even better at dodging them. It was our “normal” & we weren’t the only home in our small town that had those kind of nights. When her & dad divorced when I was 17, it was messy. I watched what it looked like to stand up for yourself & say “no more”. I backed her & it was during this time, although I definitely was a crazy teenager, she became my best friend. She fell in love with my step dad when I was 21 & I watched her become the wife of a rancher. I saw how equal their relationship was & how he never tried to shape her into what she wasn’t. She LOVED being Nanny to my son, nieces, & nephews. Then Ovarian Cancer came for her… Once again I watched my mom fight odds that were against her with laughter, pranks, a positive attitude, & making sure everyone else was ok. While in Hospice she gave me all the advice a mom would give a daughter in their lifetime. She told me my life would change at 40 & I would come into my own, much as she did. I promised her on her deathbed that I would be a woman she was proud of & honor her memory by becoming the strong woman she believed I was. (Although I was broken at the time & saw no way of that happening. She made me promise & I obliged) She slipped away in 2009, she was a young 66, I was a lost 33.

I am the woman I am today because of these events… From start to finish my parents shaped me. I’m kind & willing to help anyone if I am able. I hug strangers if they are sad because I feel for all humans. EVERY dog I see is my friend & I wave at them if they are in cars going by. I have worked in education for 12 years. My strength in EVERY evaluation is my relationships & bonds with students. I can’t stand judgmental people & always try to know the “why” behind people actions. I came into my own 3 months before my 40th birthday & accepted my family gift as being an empath. 2 months after my birthday I started my life over. I left a 20 yr marriage where neither of us were happy, & moved into my first apartment ever. I am known as “Sparkle” by some because of my ability to always throw a positive light on any situation. I’m told I live in “Kristie Land” & that it must be wonderful there. (It is!!) I’m playful but strong & independent. I’m soft but also not one you want to cross. I will prank you in a min & catch it on video to share on FB. My goal is always to leave others a bit happier than when we met & my long term dreams include helping others on my terms, in my way. I am who I am because of my parents lives and deaths…

So… What were my 3 wishes? 1)To work from home earning the same income I make currently. 2) A house big enough for our family that includes me getting a meditation/yoga room that doubles as an office for hubby’s photography 3) And I too wish Unicorns were real.