It’s a crazy time we live in! Regardless of your political views, I think we can all agree that the government has lost their minds. We live in a world wide pandemic with a virus that is constantly changing and mutating, causing panic even tho each mutation seems to be handled better than the one previous to it. We are being told what to put in our bodies and being forced from jobs unless we let our employers be in charge of our medical decisions. We are belittling rights that others fought SO HARD for us to have. Free speech is only free if someone isn’t offended by what you have to say, & people are offended by EVERYTHING! Logically speaking…It’s hard as fuck to be a human right now!

So, what can we do about it? Well, frankly all of this has been coming for the last 30 yrs. It took at least that long to get to this, and it will take time to shift out of it. Buzz words & phrases such as “mindfulness”, “manifestation”, “respond, don’t react”, “growth mindset”, “random acts of kindness” and more have infiltrated our newsfeeds, work places, and the entertainment industry. These are the exact tools the next generation needs to be taught and have modeled for them so they can move forward and make the changes we all so desperately desire. It begins with what we teach our own children. We have the power to change the world by shaping them into beings who can make those changes happen! Not convinced? Let me tell you about some observations I have made with my bonus children and my own 23 yr old and then you can feel free to comment your thoughts…

Most recently, I was called to get our 3rd grade youngest girl from school due to a fever. As I entered the office she is speaking with an adult and I catch her mid sentence saying “and there is the fact that even if I have COVID I won’t buy into the fear of it because fear equals weakness. Not your muscle kind of weakness but your mind kind and that will make your immune system weaker, because everything starts in your mind.” I interrupt and ask if she is ready and she says yes. She then says “They were talking about COVID and I told them I’m not thinking about it because I don’t want to manifest that, then I explained manifesting to them.” As we left they told her they would be mindful of their words and she reminded them to also be mindful of their thoughts. This was a VERY proud mom moment! (At the time of me writing this she has taken a home test and tested negative. She of course had no worries because in her words “I already knew it would only have one line!”)

Moving now to our 10 year old boy. This kiddo would come home from 1st grade every day talking about how he had “The worst day ever!” After about a week of this I pointed out that he had felt he had the worst day ever for 5 days in a row, so how could he actually be having the worst day if he claimed that EVERY day. He then had a slew of things that day that had gone wrong so I asked if those were bad moments or an ENTIRE bad day. His wheels began to turn. (He’s a deep thinker so I knew he would really mull that over) He then all on his own began saying “Well, maybe just moments because I did get to be teachers helper and thats the best job. We also had pizza for lunch and that’s my favorite lunch. Oh, and that one kid who never shares the swing actually asked me if I wanted his! Ok, you’re right, they were moments and I don’t even remember now what happened yesterday to ruin my day so it must not have been that bad.” Since that day in first grade he is has become the Positivity Police. He can direct just about anyone to find the bright side in just about any circumstance. He is great about validating the tough moments, because we need to feel the emotions those bring us, and then gently navigates toward what went right. He is frequently complimented on his great attitude in moments where most would focus purely on the negative.

Next we have our 12 yr old girl. As I’m sure most of you know, Middle School can be a shit show of drama, over reactions, cliques, rumors, and gossip. Being a girl, this was anticipated and we began conversations early! (Like 3rd grade early!) We spoke about how others peoples rude comments are actually reflections of things they see wrong with themselves and have nothing to do with you. We talked about how more times than not, the best response is no response to rumors which I was able to model for her when I had issues with a previous studio I had worked for trashing my name. I coached her on ways to be compassionate to others even when they have been nothing but an asshole to you. That has ALL come out as very relevant advice entering this school year. An issue came up with a “friend” calling her names, spreading rumors, and an attempt to embarrass her with goofy pictures they had taken together. Our girl let the names bounce right off of her, she refused to address the rumors, and when shown the printed pictures that her “friend” was planning to hand out like flyers, she snatched them and ripped them up into pieces. She then said to the other girl “I am not sure who you are anymore since we began Middle School. I thought you were the same girl I have been friends with the last 4 yrs but I was mistaken. I want to still be friends but for that to happen I need you to be yourself and not a copy of the girls you see trying to be cool and popular. When you’re ready to be my real friend again I will accept you as that and this will never be brought up again.” THAT WAS SHOCKING!! No way could I have been like that in middle school! But then again, I was never given the tools to be able to do so. It takes a strong soul to be a middle school girl with compassion!

That brings us to our 16 yr old. This kid has a passion for nature. Our talks with him revolve around conservation, forest management, pollution, and all things that help this rock we all live on! He loves anything to do with information to keep the planet and its inhabitants healthy. We live close to multiple different ecosystems and he is all about learning how each one is managed. We live in wildfire country and not every forest has been managed properly. Last year we went on a tour of sorts and he saw quickly why some places burned and others didn’t. He then educated us and his siblings on the importance of logging and how some forests who had not allowed trees to be cut were the ones who almost burned into towns. Not one to just take the word of a kid, I searched these fires and the articles I found matched right up with what he was saying. Each article had forest service admitting that they were low on funds and people to truly do the work that needed to be done. He then tells us his plan to get into forest management and even possibly build his house in a tree so he can fully BE his passion and live within it! We learn SO MUCH from this kid that we have learned to talk to him because he gives better info than Google!

Lastly we have my 23 yr old. His dad and I didn’t model the most healthiest of relationships for him. He never saw communication when things were hard, he saw fighting that never came to a resolution. He saw his dad run off to whatever hobby he had planned that night and saw me jump on social media to bitch about it. We were more like siblings than mother and son due to the constant need to feel we had to defend each others actions or watch each others backs. In turn, from his older teenage years I was very open and honest about things I experienced as a female when I was his age and how those things followed me into adult hood causing trauma reactions to multiple situations. Fast forwarding, he now witnesses the interactions between myself and his step dad. He already knew he didn’t want to be like what he saw growing up, so seeing how my husband and I handle disagreements and differences gave him the perfect example of what he did want to do! He QUICKLY was able to have a debate or disagreement and keep a level head. He is also the FIRST to say “I need to step away so I don’t say something I don’t mean.” He will then take 10-15 mins to gather himself and then return to fix the issue. (If you don’t listen when he speaks this need and push or follow him YOU are the problem, not him! He is communicating which is something he never saw as a kid. This is a skill he is growing because he wants to be better than what he experienced. It takes balls for a MAN to admit he is feeling out of control and step away to cool off.) He also is a HUGE advocate for women in the different circles he runs in. If my son sees a woman who has consumed her fair share of alcohol being approached by an unsavory man, he JUMPS to block the advance of said guy. Your daughter will never be taken advantage of while under the influence if she is around my son. It doesn’t matter if they know each other, are friends, or total enemies. They can be mad at him in the moment, but they will thank him in the morning.

If you tie ALL the qualities together I have witnessed in the paragraphs above, they shape the kind of world we would like to see. 1) More communication & less fighting. 2) People willing to calm down and fix problems. 3) Humans watching out for other humans regardless of personal feelings. 4) People being willing to change from what their “norm” is because they recognize it’s not healthy. 5) Respect for our planet & teaching others how to help as well. 6) Be willing to be part of the solution instead of adding to the problem. 7) Instead of adding to the drama that may be happening around you, stay in your own peace & speak your truth kindly and firmly. 8) Feel the hard feelings because that’s where you grow, but don’t live there. 9) Be open to seeing the bright side of everything so your not stuck in the dark 10) Your words and your thoughts shape your reality…Be mindful of both!

These are the BASCIS of what my husband and I would love to see more of in the world. Our family STRICTLY lives by the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. We are also HUGE on Integrity. When I met my husband his youngest was almost 3 yrs old. I was super impressed one day shortly after I met the kids when Chris said “Tell Miss Kristie what Integrity means.” This cute 3 yr old flashes a smile and says “That easy Daddy! Integity (mispronounced in the cutest way!) is doing the right thing when nobody is looking.” I was shocked but also know kids are amazing at repeating, which is a start for learning, but I wanted to see what she knew. So I asked her “So what is something I can do to have integrity?” She then looks at me and in the smartest little voice she says “Don’t steal things even if you know you won’t get caught. Don’t do bad things when nobody is there to make sure you’re being good. It’s really easy!!”

To sum this up, I know we are all tired. We all want change NOW & are searching for ways to make things better. Well, by us teaching our kids the things we do, we ARE seeing the changes, and we are seeing them NOW. We see them in the moments I shared above. Those moments are impacting other people, who will in turn share what they experienced with others. Slowly a tidal wave of human decency can grow and wash over the world, one child at a time. So, how can you shape the future through your children? How are you growing what you want the future to look like within them? Can you admit your faults and show your children that change is possible? Can you be vulnerable with them and let them know that you may have helped contribute to the madness, but you’re willing to now turn a new leaf and create new beginnings? This takes bravery on your part because you will have to practice what you teach in order for them to buy in. NO child takes the words of an adult seriously if they see the adult doing the opposite of what they are teaching! Please share in the comments what changes you are willing to teach and live in order to create the world we envision!

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