How I sat down and shut up, and how you can too!

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I have been given A LOT of tools for my toolbox of self care needs. I have a wealth of essential oil knowledge, a plethora of nutrition information, I’m a certified 200 hr Yoga Instructor, I have a stockpile of mandala pictures I color, I know just the right crystal to help with almost every emotion, I can track planets and stars to prepare for weird energies, and of course as my last blog covered, I have my journals. That being said, nothing, and I mean NOTHING is more valuable than the 6 certifications I have in mindfulness and my meditation practice.

Meditation comes with more myths than just about anything I coach people in. I feel so many people think meditation isn’t accessible to them because their idea of meditation isn’t factual. I feel this because I was one of those people! Visions of monks in robes sitting in Stupas for days was intimidating. The idea of having to completely clear my mind of any thoughts was unreasonable. Even the idea of having my family give me the space and time to attempt it was laughable, mostly because self care time was considered being self centered and not allowed in my previous life.

My mom had been given guidance on meditation in Sedona Az in the 1960’s. She said it helped her through many struggles, including the Ovarian Cancer diagnosis that ended up taking her from us too soon. She was given a mantra word by her teacher to repeat and focus on. She said just focusing on that word took her out of the mindset that her body didn’t protect her from cancer. With meditation she was able to stay in a place of compassion for herself. As she sat in Hospice she gave me her “secret word” with hopes I would discover I also could get out of my head using it. But I needed more than a magic word to help me accept I was loosing my mom. Even her nudging me to try was no match for all the preconceived false notions I had in my head. She passed in 2009 and her stubborn daughter waited 6 more yrs to seek out her own meditation journey.

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First things first… Myths & History

Let’s bust that #1 Myth about Meditation; “Meditation requires your mind to be empty of all thoughts.” No and Yes! No for you & yes for the monks! Let me break down this double standard that ends up working in YOUR favor. YOU live in the western world. In the western world we have social media, spouses, kids, jobs, bills, friends, shopping, disagreements, responsibilities, and To-Do lists a mile long. If you’re living in a modern society setting, you have upwards of 10,000 thoughts a day. Monks on the other hand take vows very young to not be part of all the chaos of society. They begin studies as children, many live in silence, & their lives are filled with selfless acts for others while living a life of poverty in bliss. Due to the age they begin this path and the fact that they are not existing in a busy lifestyle, it is easy to have a mostly blank mind for them. One of my favorite things to tell people regarding this myth is, “If you accomplish a completely blank mind then say hello to my mom for me, because you’re dead!” Is it impossible? No, but if/when it does happen you will have been meditating for many many years and it’s not something a beginner will accomplish, nor should you expect to be able to. That is where “Mindfulness” comes in!

Mindfulness meditation was introduced into Western society by Vietnamese Monk Thich Nhat Hanh after years of advocating for peace in his home country during the 1960’s. After refusing to take actual sides as his government was pressuring him to do, he was exiled for 40 yrs. His lectures as he traveled then took a turn and focused more on how to stay in the present moment, because that was what he had control of. During his exile he wrote more than 100 books on the art of being here and now, gave thousands of insightful lectures & interviews, & officially introduced Mindfulness to the world. (Guaranteed you have shared a meme with one of his famous quotes!) He made useful time of his exile & gave us tools to make meditation accessible to EVERYBODY! It was during this time that the actual term “Mindfulness” was brought into our vocabulary.

Is Mindfulness another word for meditation? Not exactly… Mindfulness is a type or way of meditating. There are numerous ways to help get you into a meditative state & reap those amazing benefits of meditation. (ex. Loving kindness meditation, guided, Yoga Nidra, Transcendental, & moving meditation to name a few) What sets Mindfulness apart from some others is that it’s not just what you do on a meditation cushion or yoga mat. Its about being in the present moment ALL the time by taking the skills you learn while meditating into your daily activities. Suffering is commonly caused by wishing things were different, beating ourselves up over past mistakes, worrying about what the future could bring, & stressing over the endless to-do lists we all have.

In Buddhism we know that suffering is a part of life & there are things to learn when we sit in the uncomfortable. The goal is to not cause ourselves unnecessary suffering by focusing on things we have no control over. Often times when we are doing mundane tasks (such as driving to work) our minds are on autopilot leaving room for random thoughts to enter. Unfortunately those random thoughts are usually something I have listed above. We start feeling overwhelmed, sad, mad, worried, or other unhappy feelings. The next thing we know, we are at work, we barely remember driving there, we’re not in the right mental state to do our jobs, and at that point way more than just you is impacted. BUT, what if you were able to notice those thoughts creeping in? What if you were able to recognize them as just that, a thought, let it be, and then bring your focus to the present? But how?? I am so glad you asked!!

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Mindfulness Meditation, The Basics

First, as with most meditation, find a comfortable seat. This can be a meditation cushion, a yoga mat, a chair, or anywhere that you can sit with good posture and an elongated spine. If you have back problems you can choose a chair with a back or if your seat is on the floor, you can prop up against a wall. This shouldn’t be painful and if all else fails, this can be done laying down as if you’re doing a Body Scan. (Another type of Mindfulness Meditation we will talk about another day!)

Next, now that you have found a comfortable seat, settle in by making yourself aware of what your body feels like. Can you lower your shoulders down from your ears? If your jaw is clenched let it relax. Let the tension in your neck go with some gentle ear to shoulder stretches. Feel the pressure of anchoring down in your seat. Feel your body supported and grounded from your sits bones to the crown of your head. Take a few deep breaths and smile.

Hand placement will depend on your seat. If in a chair it’s usually common to just rest your hands in your lap. Floor seats usually find you in Lotus Position (cross legged). Here you can rest your hands palms down or up on your knees, hands can be place in the common meditation mudra with thumb and pointer finger touching, or resting comfortably in your lap. Hand placement is more about how you feel comfortable when just starting a meditation practice. You can research specific mudras down the road.

Lower your head slightly and if you feel comfortable, let your eyelids close. If closed eyes isn’t for you, a drishti (focal) point may be helpful. You may use any item that isn’t distracting and place it about 6-8 inches in front of you. No need to overthink this, I have used lint on my carpet or a wood pattern on a hard wood floor. A drishti point helps your eyes not wonder around the room and keeps you focused on where you are. This is especially helpful when meditating outside due to all the stimulating scenes you could be surrounded by.

For your first week or so, begin with 5 mins on a timer. You can slowly extend your meditations as you feel able to sit longer. 20 minutes min is your end goal but YOU decide when you will get there with no time limit pressure on yourself. Slow is better than rushing here. You can add or take away minutes as you go. The most important part is that you actually sit and form the habit!! You are now ready to begin.

Your breath is your life force or Prana and will be what anchors you in the present moment. Begin taking normal regular breaths in through your nose and out through your nose. Feel the air moving in and out of your nostrils and notice any sensations. As your breath becomes regulated, each breath becomes intentional. On an inhale breath think to yourself “Breathing in” and on your exhale think “Breathing out”. Focusing on each inhale and exhale centers you on where you are right now. Continue breathing and repeating “Breathing in, breathing out” as you go until your timer alerts your time is done.

RANDOM THOUGHTS… When a random thought interrupts you’re focused breathing we notice it, label it with one word, let it be, and return our focus back to the breath. ***For example: “Breathing in, breathing out. Breathing in, breathing out. Did I sign that permission slip? I can’t remember… THINKING! Breathing in, breathing out. Breathing in, breathing out. Thats a weird noise I wonder what… SOUND! Breathing in, breathing out. Breathing in, breathing out.” Rest assured, you have labeled that thought and whatever it was, can be addressed AFTER you’re done sitting. Your label bookmarks it in your mind & if it truly is important, you will remember it. Nothing is so emergent that it can’t wait up to 20 mins to handle.

You can end your meditation any way that is comfortable to you. Bow your head, Nameste, an intention for the day, or even a journal entry about how your meditation went. Take some moments to reflect on the experience. How do you feel physically, mentally and emotionally? What was hard? What was easy? There are no right and wrong answers here, you’re just taking notice. As you move forward, you may feel the pull to add candles, sage, palo santo, essential oil, incense, or crystals into your practice. Placing these back in their places mindfully is a nice closing act to seal your meditation also. Congratulations! YOU JUST MEDITATED!!!

“WHAT?! That’s it? That is meditating?” Yeppers! At its most basic level, the above instructions will give you a base Mindful Meditation practice which you will grow from. As your sits get longer, you will begin to take Mindfulness into your daily life. You will notice when mundane unnecessary thoughts are distracting you, and be able to bring your focus back to where you are. You will be more intentional about your thinking patterns and when unpleasant thoughts pop up, you will start to replace them with more pleasant ones. Over time you will become more mindful and present in conversations, commuting, daily tasks, relationships, activities, and pretty much all aspects of your life. You will be amazed at how sitting down and doing nothing, was the one thing you needed to help you generally be more productive!!

Mindfulness Meditation in my opinion is the absolute best form of meditation to begin with. As I mentioned above, there are many different types of ways to settle you into the present moment. As I did, you will more than likely give them a try as you go forward in your practice. Each type brings you to the present moment in different ways or brings your focus to a specific feeling or thought that is held for the specified timeframe you choose. Once you begin a steady routine it is common to add to it depending on your mood or your life circumstances at that moment. All will bring you the amazing scientifically backed benefits that meditation has become so popular for.

In closing, I hope this post has at the very least sparked your interest in the art of sitting down, shutting up, and doing nothing. My hope is that you feel meditation is more accessible to you and you actually give this method a try! I will forever be grateful for the ways my life has changed due to meditation and mindfulness. My passion to help others begin a practice runs deep so please, share your insights in the comments or message directly from the contact page! I would love feedback on this post as I often break these steps down for clients, yet typed words can fall short on details. In other words, HELP ME HELP YOU AND OTHERS!! I wish you so much peace in your meditation journey & hope to celebrate your first meditation soon!

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