As you work your way forward on your path it is very important to live in the moment you are in. Everything that goes up, must come down, and truly living in those “ups” will help you when the “downs” inevitably happen. We are in a constant cycle where nothing is permanent & the more you understand that, the less disappointed you will be when the sky falls after what seems like everything was “perfect”. It will also help you understand that the struggle you are in is also temporary, and the sun will shine again.

It is a common misconception that when you are living a life of self love, peace, gratitude, full of random acts of kindness, and reflection that all the “bad times” will be gone forever and struggle is something you will no longer face. I believe this has been falsely advertised on social media by “guru’s” or famous faces that only show the glow up and leave out where the growth happens…in the struggles. After all, we are all continuously growing and evolving right? So if we grow through the struggles, common sense dictates that those struggles don’t just magically disappear once we are steady on a path of self peace. Actually, the struggles you encounter could be much bigger than you have ever dealt with. That’s ok because you have all those tools you have learned along the way and the bigger the struggle, the bigger the growth!

When the inevitable time comes that I am overcome by chaos I go through a few stages. My first response is usually trying to downplay the seriousness of a situation. This comes from a few coping mechanisms I have learned in my life, some from unhealthy situations. Growing up in an alcoholic home I learned to make peace, ease everyones emotions, and calm the situation quickly. It was my role and I was so good at it that I carried it into my toxic relationships and diffused any heated emotions. This also comes from my new path and journey by having the desire to not feed into chaos and instead find the light and positive in the situation. Focus on the best and leave out the rest!! This is a great first instinct to have, but then reality will sink in.

Real talk, I usually loose my shit in a big big way shortly after anyone near me in the first step begins to counter every bit of light I try to bring to the table. To be perfectly honest, me loosing it needs to happen. Why? Well as I stated in a previous blog it is SO IMPORTANT to feel ALL the feelings, especially the uncomfortable ones. If not felt and acknowledged, these are the feelings that get buried and repressed which later can cause physical, mental, and emotional issues. If i need to cry it out, I cry it out. If I need to scream, well I have places I can go or a very nice pillow to yell into. If I need to break or physically DO something with my anger, my mom gave me the tool of buying plates from 2nd hand stores and shattering those suckers!! Ripping paper seems to work just as well and satisfies the need to get out frustration in a physical act.

Thirdly I will begin down the path of “what if’s” and imagine all the worst things that can happen. This phase doesn’t last to long because due to the constant work I do on myself, I catch this phase pretty fast and refuse to take up residence there. I may visit it again for a few moments on and off but I don’t stay long. That being said, it DOES happen and I refuse to beat myself up over it. I may be lightyears away from the woman I use to be but I am still human! It would be unrealistic if I told you that my evolution into the Life Coach/Holistic Guide that writes this blog NEVER has basic human reactions. If you are told that by anyone you follow for advice, I would question their authenticity to be honest. We all go through this phase, we all just don’t cop to it… Just thank it for showing you another scenario and send it out to the Universe.

At this point I am exhausted emotionally and usually have a good cry. Tears can be so healing and releasing. I ugly cry to my husband who says he doesn’t think I can look ugly when I cry. (He also aways says the right things! Lol) After some breaths I go straight to my tools. I get my journal out and write as sloppy as I want, as much as I want, and as long as I need. I sit on my meditation cushion and have focused sits where I allow my self to feel what comes up, listen to thoughts that are helpful and debunk fears that could build worry and stress due to the lack of control over anything besides the moment I am in. I roll out my yoga mat and work with my chakras and as I increases flexibility physically, my mind opens to possibility. I shift perspective and in turn, feel hopeful instead of wrecked.

Do ALL the problems that caused the tail spin of emotions go away after the above happens? NOPE! And if that is what you are expecting to happen, you will be let down every single time. Having these tools, living a more mindful life, choosing gratitude over worry, and being more centered and grounded DOES NOT AND WON’T EVER magically “fix” any hardships that will inevitably enter your life. To be honest, when those times hit you, your even more taken aback due to the truly peaceful existence you have enjoyed in the mundane and serene that you were probably living in right before chaos struck.

BUT WAIT! After the initial shock that life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows in that moment, you quickly come to that exact realization, this is just a moment. You pretty quickly understand that just as the “good” times have their season to help us relax, restore, learn about ourselves and improve our human existence, the “bad” times have their place also. We learn lessons that help us grow, we learn our strength, we shed layers that no longer serve us, we find our shadow side and do deep work that truly matters and emerge changed. Whether that is for the good or bad is up to us and the work we put in when things are not running perfect. You will find that your perspective of difficult situations has changed as you travel this new way of life which makes going through the shit a lot easier. You don’t camp out in self defeat and instead focus on what is on the others side of the hard times you have found yourself in.

So this is just a friendly reminder that if you find yourself in hard times and then feel as if your wold has ended, not all is lost! You haven’t “failed” at anything if you loose your shit for a little bit. You haven’t slid backwards in growth because you are having real human feelings. You have no reason to beat yourself up because you don’t just throw yourself into all the the tools you have learned. We are spiritual beings having a human experience and with that comes human responses to tough times. You will find with each hard season it gets easier to trudge through the trenches of difficulty and when it is harder than ever before, you will think about the HUGE amazing things coming that will match the enormity of what is currently transpiring. You are only a failure if YOU decide you are!

I wish you so much peace and joy as you continue your path towards a more enlightened life and I wish you strength and confidence when the hard times drift in to your journey. If you are new and came across this blog randomly, please visit the main page for previous blogs on how to begin a journey to a deeper existence with tips on journaling, meditation, and a shift in mindset. As with any blog, subscribing is the best way to get instant access to any new entries and grow the community! I also appreciate any donations as an exchange of energy between my readers and myself:)