I dropped a big bomb in the concluding post of my “Who in the hell does she think she is?” series & announced our intentions to move to Chattanooga TN this July. I invited readers into my panic when I thought we had to move immediately, and we then walked through tools I used to manage. I then expressed things I learned & will be aware of in the future and traits I noticed that I want to change. Ending that series with final lessons felt right and the timing of this big change fell right in that timeline. Since that post I have been questioned how we decided to go from Wyoming to Tennessee… This post will answer that question.

REASON # 1 (Trips to the South) In August of 2017, while the rest of the country was focused on the Eclipse, we were focused on a road trip from Casper, Wy to Savannah Ga to get Chris’s 4 kids from their 1st summer visit with their mom. I had never been East of Nebraska & we had plans to watch the Eclipse from a North Carolina beach because I had never seen the Atlantic Ocean! (I saw the Pacific once for like 5 mins. I was excited to BE on a beach!) As we made our way further South I could feel the most amazing vibes from this part of the country. I took it as the Eclipse energy & soaked it up as much as I could.

As we came into Tennessee something just woke up in me. We noticed we would be in the Nashville area & decided we HAD to at least drive through downtown. We rolled the windows down and slowly made our way through the streets that had music spilling out onto the sidewalk. The hopes and dreams of musicians swimming around me caused tears to fall down my cheeks. We went to the Grand Ole Opry & in the most magical turn of events, we danced in the courtyard to “Pennies from Heaven” wrapped up in our own world until we noticed 50+ people had gathered. (My mom always wanted to go to Nashville. I felt the song was a sign of her being happy I made it there for her.)

The next year on our trip to get the kiddos, my then 20 yr old son came with us. We had to show him Music City also and walked downtown this time because we could afford to park without Eclipse parking prices! Lol We found ourselves in the courtyard of the Nashville Symphony and in true southern style, buckets of rain decide to start pouring! Again, Chris grabs me and in another Tennessee courtyard we dance as my son hides under a tree recording us. After we picked up the kids and were heading back through TN, the kids were getting on each others nerves. We had lectured and such but in one large motion, Chris jerked the truck to the side of the road, put it in park, and got out. (We ALL thought some roadside ass whooping was about to happen!!) But instead he opens MY door, pulls me out, and reaches over to turn up the radio. There, on the side of a highway in Tennessee, the man of my dreams and I danced to what is now our song, “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran. ALL the kids LOVE to tell this story & this is when we really connected to Tennessee.

The next few years we went down we drove through different areas. We knew Nashville was too big but also knew we would need a good sized town for decent pay. Thats when we came across Knoxville and Chattanooga. Chattanooga won our hearts with the proximity to where the kids mom is, the wages Chris can make, the amount of job opportunities for me at studios, the insane amount of free things to do, the mountains, Tennessee river, waterfalls, and the ocean can be accessed with a small road trip! Last August after noticing school busses everywhere advertising the need for drivers, we parked and made a call that solidified Chattanooga. We didn’t know when, but knew the right time would present itself.

REASON #2 (The cost of co-parenting) Over the years the trips to get the kids have created some of our most treasured memories as a couple and family. We had gotten in a ritual of spending time in Florida with our friend for 3-4 days before we get the kids to relax before a long trip home. We have made many memories on Florida beaches and have lots of ridiculous adventure stories. That being said, it isn’t cheap to travel so far. It’s expensive for the kids mom to get them to Georgia, and expensive for us to get them home. Being closer would help BOTH parties AND be better for the kids. (The thought of them spending a holiday with their mom makes my heart sing! Can you just imagine how great that will be for them and her!!) This was the top reason to move to a southern state and not just Colorado. We NEEDED to be closer to Georgia.

REASON #3 (My Inner Mentor) In Tara Mohr’s book “Playing Big” she has you do this wonderful meditation where you connect with your future self. See, inside us all we have an Inner Critic & and Inner Mentor. The Inner Critic is the one telling you that you can’t, it’s too scary, you’re not good enough, and blah blah blah. That brow beating is often so loud we can’t hear our Inner Mentor AT ALL!! As a member of Allie Van Fossen’s Body Mind Soul online Yoga studio, this book for our book club was chosen during a time where I was lost as hell! I was ready to part ways with the Yoga/Meditation studio I had been working for & the owner was being threatening and showing none of the kindness she preaches. (The constant hypocrisy was my #1 reason for wanting out!!) I bought the book & downloaded the Audible just in case I didn’t have time to read. A few chapters in, the meditation was introduced. Imagine you are meeting yourself 10 or 20 yrs into the future depending on what life season you’re currently in. This person is your Inner Mentor and it is time you properly meet….

***I feel it is important to add here that I have NEVER been able to visualize well in meditation. Weird, I know, but very true. I have tried visualizing with other meditations since this one, still can’t do it! So…I think I’m suppose to just focus on this & maybe later more will come!

Visualization… I find myself walking up a dirt driveway/road. I’m surrounded by a thick forest of trees and am in a vast mountain range that’s vistas can be seen as I reach the end of the dirt. There is a small cement pad with a basketball hoop positioned on it that looks as if it’s been some time since a ball went through the weathered net. At the bottoms of multiple trees there are makeshift fairy homes and gardens. Little scenes set up carefully with solar lights and stringed lights to illuminate them in the evening. Under a comfy porch swing lays a Rottweiler in the shade who lifts his head for a moment to make eye contact with me. As if he is saying “Oh it’s just you” he puts his head back down and goes back to sleep, uninterested in my presence. Out from the trees rushes a smaller dog who reacts opposite of the other one. Excited and happy, this little guy hops around me and runs in circles like Buddy does when I first arrive home. I walk up to the beautiful cabin before me feeling I have been “here” before but not exactly “here”. I go to knock and the door opens before I get the chance, as if she knew I was coming. “Hi, I’ve been expecting you for awhile! I am glad you finally made it!” She is me, in her late 50’s or early 60’s. She is barefoot, wearing a flowing BoHo style skirt, yoga pants underneath, a shirt with an open back, and light lavender hair pulled up into a messy bun. She guides me to a window that has multiple pillows piled in front of a deep sill that has books and a coffee cup placed on it. She brings me some lavender honey tea and we sit.

She says “You have questions. I know things are hard now but you have to cut ties that don’t resonate with you. That is the only way you will get here. You’re doing the right thing, it’s just hard.” I ask “Where is HERE?” and she only replies with “I think you already know.” I say “These aren’t the rugged mountains of Wyoming & the air feels different.” and she answers “You were always so good feeling out nature.” (My tendency to not give straight answers is dominate here!! Lol) For a clue I ask her what she was doing when I showed up as I noticed a large overnight bag on a large fluffy couch. “Oh, we’re going to the ocean for the 3 day weekend and I was packing our things.” I WAS IN THE SOUTH EAST!!!! She was right, I did know where HERE was! How in the hell would we get there so soon! I know I age well but I didn’t picture us being able to move until all the kids were out of the house! My Inner Mentor was not the right age for that time frame! My tea seemed to disappear quickly and I instinctively knew when the tea was gone, my time was up. She takes my cup and walks me to the door. I ask how often I can talk to her. She tells me she is always in my ear but now that we have officially met, I will hear her better. With that she hugs me and tells me she is so excited for me to experience the next part of my life and we part ways. I say goodbye to the doggies and see a bike by a tree I hadn’t noticed before. As I walk back down the road I can’t help but think if Pele or Merlin was riding that bike and are currently in the trees playing. That concluded my Inner Mentor Meditation… HOLY SHIT!

I feel it is very important to say thank you to Allie Van Fossen for bringing this book into my life and Tara Mohr for creating this amazing meditation!! (If you want to do this for yourself you can the book “Playing Big” and the guided meditation at https://www.taramohr.com/ )

REASON 4 (If not now, then possibly never) Then we come to circumstances making everything line up just right. As I stated in that last post of my series, we had ideas for when this would happen but those went out the window. Money, although I hate to admit it, is the main need for a cross country move. When finances became available, when a job making more was offered, and when the pressure changes this year have had me laid up with a migraine more days than I can count, it became obvious that it is now or never. We need the money to move and get a house, the job is perfect doing what Chris loves, and I can’t keep living with a constant migraine. The time is right even tho it never feels right to say goodbye to everything you have ever known to go somewhere you feel you were meant to be. (We will save those feelings for another post tho)

So there you have it. As my friend Coebie put it so well, my roots will always be in Wyoming. My heart is here, my foundation is here. My values were grown here. This is just me being a tree and spreading my long branches out to touch the place where my soul says I need to be. Where Chris and I will grow old, make new memories with kids, chase new photography compositions, do yoga on the banks of the Tennessee River, and hike new trails. Where mountains ranges aren’t far from sandy beaches and waterfalls are formed with every rainstorm. Where humidity moistens your skin and the wind doesn’t freeze your face. A dream planted in 2017 has become reality faster than we envisioned and we won’t wait for another chance. We are ready Chattanooga….see you in July!!

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