A huge source of anxiety and struggle come from us wanting things to be different than what they are. Fact is, life isn’t linear! Things won’t always be amazing and things won’t always be hard. Life should dip in and out of challenge and ease, in an ebb and flow state, that grows us then allows us to show that growth. Often times when we find ourselves stuck in a struggle for extremely long periods of time, we are repeating choices that keep us stuck. We aren’t seeing the opportunities for growth or learning the lessons presenting themselves. We just want what we want now and when we don’t get it, we dig our heels in and stay STUCK!

A metaphor for this hit me like a ton of bricks on a trail recently in Sedona. It hit me in the forehead as I scampered up shale and loose rocks with my husband close behind because I decided I knew better than Trail Engineers and tried to go an “easy way”. First off, I did not choose this trial and in all honesty, my husband didn’t either. Something we have learned and are aware of, is that many hiking apps and even trailhead maps may not be as accurate as you would assume. We chose what we thought was a loop trail from a trail head parking lot that looped down below Cathedral Rock and would bring us back to my car. This DOES exist but should probably be done in the opposite direction we took it.

It was roughly 7 miles of a loop, our packs were full of water snacks and my husband had his needed camera gear which is roughly 30 lbs. First there were what we have dubbed “never ending ups”. Lots of elevation gain, a steep rocky trail, multiple bikes to avoid who definitely needed the right of way, and the wind was insane. We finally reached the sandstone slickrock edge we had been ascending to during the first leg and felt super accomplished as we could see Cathedral and our hearts were already on the trail we knew existed along Oak Creek below. We followed the trail to Cathedral and were quickly shown why there was a sign with black diamonds marking this trail on the sign we had just passed. (Pic of sign is the featured image along with my ego sticker egging on the Universe. Lol) Small sandstone edges to navigate, steep drops to slide down, and a dark cloud that looked like it was going to drop moisture on a terrain that would NOT be safe if it did so. We came to a small curve that had NO WIGGLE room and I stopped. I looked everywhere to go other than there and didn’t see anything from where I was. Prompts from my husband looking at the map promised this was the last scary thing helped me just blindly go, and I made it quickly without looking back. I could only think “Thank god that is over and I will never be doing that again!”

I ate those words around the next corner as it became VERY apparent to both of us where we had ended up. We were on the 2nd shelf of Cathedral Rock to get to the saddle where most go to experience the full vortex energy. Let me be so clear here that you can feel the vibes the moment you are on Cathedral. That climb isn’t necessary if you don’t feel like you can physically do it. There is usually a line of people going up and coming down which can feel overwhelming in itself. (What if I slip and take people out on my way down!!) We have never done it for one VERY important reason…FULL BACKPACKS!! No way would we just drop hubby’s camera gear at the base and trust it will not be taken. The best way to do it would be take the shuttle with no gear there, do the climb, experience the vibes, climb down and reload the shuttle. That is not us. We want the long hikes to places that give a different look than IG does. So we clearly had not done this little “Path” up sandstone at what hubby said was a 6% grade and absolutely could not see ourselves going down it. The issue, down was the way to go to connect with that other path and be on the fucking ground!

We surveyed our surroundings for a few mins and discussed options. We had conversations with people who only had a water bottle or nothing who were supportive and helpful while filling them in on the fact we had already hike almost 4 miles. To put that into perspective, they had maybe walked a quarter mile from the parking lot! Lol We made the right choice to go back the way we came and felt good about it. Be safe, hike another day right! We fist bumped and didn’t feel like chickens or weak and off with confidence we went, until I turned the corner and saw THAT SPOT! Damn it!! I DID NOT want to do that again! Then I see things from the shelf ledge we were currently on and I think I see an easy way! Fast forward to being in those loose rocks and shale, scampering up the side of this rock formation, off balance with a backpack on, thinking about the weight my husband is packing, and we are 10 mins into a climb we could have avoided just by being brave enough to take 3 steps on a sketchy section of trail I literally already proved to myself I could do. My “Easier way” added 30 total minutes onto our hike with that dark cloud just looking at us to ramp up the internal ass kicking I was doing to myself.

We reached a dry sandstone waterfall wash and were just below the trail when my husband suggested we stop and rest. As we sat there eating a snack and drinking water, I said I was sorry a million times and he wanted to hear none of it. So much hit me right then that I pulled up my notes app to type in yet another life lesson on a hiking trail. As I typed he talked about what we just accomplished as a team. How although the way trail engineers designed was actually the best way, the hard way we just went, did grow us and our trust in each other. I talked to him about how so many times in life people try to take shortcuts to avoid the hard stuff and just end up in harder stuff. How suffering really can be avoided or at least shortened by just doing the hard thing. Also how those who have gone before us have most likely found the best way and it isn’t always safe to blaze our own trial. We chatted in metaphors until we were rested, threw on our packs that felt a little lighter, and took the 10 steps or so onto the established trail.

As we stopped on the same sandstone slickrock we had peeked Cathedral from earlier, my husband decided to grab some images as he hadn’t really pulled his camera out, and I took a 360° video and had a seat. I reflected on how much longer my choice in going off trail made our trip. (No shaming myself, just reflecting) How obstacles or challenges we think we were done with, have a tendency to come back and check in with us just to make sure we gained the knowledge they bring. How my desire to change what was and avoid the hard thing actually put us in a precarious situation that took longer and felt would never end. That last part, “felt like it would never end”. We actually have to watch time out there and in the moment of that precarious situation it felt as if it were an hour or longer. But it was 30 mins. Crazy how your central nervous system lies to you when your on fire and dealing with one thing after another to reach a safe feeling. It is all those reflections that I bring here to this post.

Back to the beginning message… If you spend your entire life or a long period of time, trying to go for the short cuts or wishing for things to be what they are not, your going to find yourself in struggle and challenge WAY LONGER than you needed to be. Sometimes the trail that you are on IS the path you need to walk! You will gain life lessons regardless, as that is the way things work, but why create struggles you don’t HAVE TO go through? Next time you are met with a challenge entertain the thought of meeting it head on. While navigating the difficulties, be aware of what the current struggle is trying to grow within you. What is a skill or behavior that seems to be a theme you are having to use or diffuse? (I DO NOT know more than Trail Engineers. Not everything can be made “easier”) When you are through it, and this is the most important thing, DO NOT forget what you just learned and implement it moving forward!! The Universe has a funny tendency to come back around for a refresher lesson if we aren’t carrying the energetic of our growth.

Has there been a time in your life that you sat in struggle longer than needed because you chose to look for shortcuts instead?