The secret is, nobody does!

If there is one sentence or assumption that bothers me more than others, it’s when I hear anybody say “How old are they? They should have their shit together by now.” (Enter me screaming here!) If there is one thing I fully realized at the beginning of digging into my life choices and healing, it is that ABSOLUTELY NOBODY FULLY HAS THEIR SHIT TOGETHER! I was 40 at the time & truly feeling like a piece of garbage because there was so much I had never done on my own. I went from being 19 to being married and having many things just handled because that meant more control. I was in a situation that I couldn’t fully grasp and was totally gaslit about where I “should be” until I was smacked into reality. Me “not having my shit together” had more to do with the situation I was in than me just choosing not to take more responsibility. Many didn’t know my circumstances because it was none of their business. The same can be said for EVERYONE.

Fast forward 10 years and having contact with many different types of people, I am confident when I say that there is not an age that dictates having life “figured out”. And what does that even mean? If it means financially stable than a majority of people are fucked. If it means never paying bills late than that crosses many off. Does it mean never needing assistance or help? Again…this excludes a good portion of people. OH! Maybe it means doing what you love for work and being able to feel full in your heart at the end of the work day!! Well, good luck finding those people. Is it being with a soul mate who is your equal and building a life with them? Sadly, many factors are against people when it comes to that happening as well. I’m done guessing because I personally don’t believe anybody knows what they are doing and as we may have moments of life going smoothly, we all also have those ebbs that stop us in our tracks. Some have more than others and as an astrologer, it only takes a look at their Natal Chart for me to see what’s happening.

It is also wild to me that people feel they have the right to comment on where another person should be in any stage of their life. As a married woman who is turning 50 this year I fuck up financially, I change my goals frequently and may have no direction at times, there are times we have to make payment arrangements when funds are low, buttered noodles may be the thing for dinner the day before payday, we forget to do things like the upkeep on our RV we live in, we almost ran out of gas in the middle of the night on Interstate 40 because we thought we could make it a bit longer, we find ourselves in the WORST areas in large cities because we don’t listen to Google Maps, we have had to go without something we need because of overspending on something we wanted, and I could go on forever. It is called LEARNING and you simple CAN NOT learn something until you screw up and learn the better way in adulthood. We aren’t out here with text books and imaginary scenarios. This is real life situations with real life consequences and rewards. You win by learning the lessons and not repeating the mistakes, BUT if you do end up repeating them, it is like a retake on a test but you get full credit if you learn more the 2nd time around.

As the mom of a 26 year old man and a big believer in that generation, I wish people would cut those late 20/ early 30 year olds a break. They aren’t living in the same time, economy, job market, or social settings as the older generations. They don’t NEED to be at any level by a certain time and they aren’t fucking failing if they aren’t where you were at their age. They will soar high and their egos will get big boosts. Then they will crash on their faces and have to swallow that pride and rise back up all over again. Life looks different for them and at the same time, they are doing everything we did. We just didn’t have social media telling us we suck because we don’t have the perfect job, house, car, spouse, and kids by 30. In all actuality, for many that isn’t even the current goal. The current goal is to make rent and pay bills. Millennials that aren’t being supported by rich parents barely have a social life and many take no time to take care of themselves. Then you have people out there saying “You should be further along in your life.” Like truly fuck off with that.

The point I am trying to make in general here is that nobody has a right to judge another’s journey. You don’t know their background, what information they were taught, how they were raised, what their actual lives are like, and how hard they are trying. It isn’t your business or your lane to be in so it is best to just do you, and let others do them. Many of them are about to hit their Saturn Return which could be difficult enough without judgy people telling them they are failing. (Find the link for my post on Saturn Return at the end of this post) For those of you that have heard this I have a piece of advice for you. Exercise your throat chakra, bring out the inner Gen X you were raised by, and tell the judgy assholes to kindly get fucked. They are irrelevant to what you are trying to make happen and their opinion means zero to your success. I believe in you just like my mom believed in me. No, nobody is coming to save you and that is OK because you got this! We ALL go through it and we all come out the other side. Take some deep breaths and know this…NONE OF US KNOW WHAT WE ARE DOING!! WELCOME TO OUR CLUB!

To read my post on Saturn Return in Aries that will directly affect those in their late 20’s/early 30’s and those in their late 50’s here is that link: https://mystikalmusings.com/2025/05/06/understanding-saturn-returns-a-rite-of-passage/