It has never made sense to me why people bust their asses working more hours than they spend time with their family, save, invest, build credit, and go into debt with lifetime loans, just to get to a certain age in their 70’s to then “enjoy retirement”. Huh? So we wait to enjoy life until an age that most people are broken physically and quite possibly mentally from doing all that constant work? That sounds like insanity or slavery. Regardless, I was never going to buy into that scam.

I was pressured by a co-worker in my former life to start contributing to a 401K which I am actually grateful for because, when I bounced out of the School System it was THAT money that bought our RV and move us into a nomadic lifestyle. (The fact I was advised to not withdraw that money is hilarious to me, but also predictable) Call me irresponsible, tell me I will be screwed as a senior citizen, lecture me about financial planning and security. You will be wasting your breath because we are not the same, and that’s ok.

What I find really interesting though, is that there are way more people out there like me than I ever thought! I guess we can thank 2020 for this and how it shoved many people out of the matrix. It made them realize that there is more than just the 9-5. People discovered the best way to social distance was out on the road, visiting National Parks, finding the mountain lakes they had only seen on IG, discovering favorite camping spots, traveling to states they had never been to, the sweet memories of a picnic in the backyard with your kids, the ability to grow food and we can’t forget about how EVERYONE had a sourdough bread starter! The eyes of many became fully open while the world in general was shut down. Then 5 yrs later, a majority have slowly slipped right back into the matrix. But why?

The Comfort of Conditioning

The truth is, most people didn’t go back because they loved the 9-to-5 grind or because they missed traffic or micromanaging bosses. They went back because that version of life—clocking in, paying bills, living for the weekend—was familiar. And familiar is safe to the subconscious mind, even if it’s unfulfilling.

Neuroscience shows us that the brain is wired to conserve energy and minimize threat. Change—even when it’s positive—is perceived as risky because it’s unknown. In psychology, this is called homeostasis—our mental, emotional, and physical systems are hardwired to maintain internal balance. And when something throws that off, like a pandemic, a job loss, or a global shake-up, the body and brain scramble to get back to what they know.

Even if “what they know” is stress, debt, and burnout.

So when the world opened back up, it was like the collective nervous system exhaled and said, “Ah, back to normal.” But that normal never felt right for everyone—and it definitely didn’t for me.

Trauma Amnesia and the Pull to “Just Be Fine”

There’s also a psychological defense mechanism that kicks in when things feel too chaotic for too long. It’s called trauma suppression. When we live through something globally destabilizing, like what 2020 brought, there’s a deep desire to pretend it didn’t happen. To shove it down. To carry on. To “just be fine.”

And for many, that meant clinging to the old systems. Going back to the office. Clocking in. Numbing out. Because pretending it was all just a blip is easier than reckoning with the truth: that we were never really in control, and the systems we trusted are just as fragile as we are.

But some of us couldn’t go back. Not because we’re stronger or better—but because we finally saw it. We saw the cracks in the system. We tasted freedom. We remembered what connection felt like. And once you know what’s possible, going back to “normal” feels like putting on clothes that never fit in the first place.

Why We Chose Different

For me, the answer wasn’t to hustle harder or just wait for retirement. It was to leave. To choose freedom while my body is able, while my mind is clear, in order to have amazing memories and experiences with my husband.

And I’ve learned I’m not alone. More and more people are choosing alternative lifestyles such as RV life, van life, homesteading, and tiny homes, not just as a trendy phase, but as a conscious choice to live now, not later.

The cost of living has exploded. Wages haven’t kept up. And so many of us are done with working just to survive. RV life isn’t just about beautiful sunsets or minimalism, it’s a rebellion. A response to systems that no longer serve the majority. A way to say, “I’m not going to break myself to afford a life I don’t even like!”

It’s also about mobility. Flexibility. If a place gets too expensive, too tense, or just doesn’t feel good anymore, you move. You go find peace elsewhere. You follow the weather, the wildflowers, the call of your intuition.

Choosing to Stay Awake

This life isn’t for everyone, and that’s fine. But it is for those of us who couldn’t forget what we felt in 2020. That urge to slow down, to reevaluate, to live more intentionally. Some people woke up… and then rolled over and went back to sleep.

I couldn’t.

I won’t.

I fucking can’t!

Because I don’t want to wait to live. I’m not saving my joy for a version of me in my 70s who might be too tired or too sick to use it. I want it now, while I’m here, while I’m alive. I don’t know what the future looks like and if we will even be able to have these amazing experiences. The time is NOW!

And if that means being called irresponsible or unconventional or unrealistic, so be it. I’ll take that over the soul-crushing rhythm of a life that never felt like mine to begin with. I’ll see those eye rolls and head shakes and raise them with my great mental and physical health due to dropping away from society norms. Take your prescriptions in a bottle, my medicine is on a hiking trail.

So no, I didn’t slip back into the matrix. I drove away from it…with the windows down, middle finger extended, with no regrets to be found.