There you are—deep in the work. Unpacking childhood wounds, shifting generational patterns, learning to speak to yourself with compassion instead of criticism. You’re noticing where you’ve been self-sabotaging, where your fear has been steering the ship, and you’re doing the hard work to change that. You’re setting boundaries, speaking your truth, and aligning with a version of yourself that used to feel like just a dream.

And as all this healing and growth begins to shift your inner world, your outer world starts to respond. Opportunities begin to align. New people show up who reflect the healthier version of you you’ve been fighting to become. The fog starts to lift. You can feel yourself changing.

But… some things don’t change.

And by “things,” I mean people.

Those friends you’ve known for decades? They still gossip and cling to chaos. That sibling who used to trauma bond with you over dysfunction now accuses you of acting superior. Your partner may start to feel distant or threatened by your growth. Even coworkers you once vented with over lunch now look at you sideways because you stopped feeding the cycle of complaining.

You watch them struggle—making the same decisions, replaying the same loops, sometimes even choosing suffering over solutions. They see your growth (they’ve even complimented it), but they don’t actually want to change themselves. In fact, some of them seem more comfortable when you were struggling too. Misery loves company, remember?

And when you don’t take the bait to slip back into old patterns, they push.
They guilt you.
They call you different (as if that’s a bad thing).
They say you’ve “changed”—and they don’t mean it kindly.

It can be confusing. Even heartbreaking. But here’s what you need to remember:

Not everyone came here to grow.

Some people came here to be the challenge that pushes you to grow.
Some souls incarnated not to break generational curses, but to help you break yours by resisting every ounce of your evolution.
They are the test.
The mirror.
The lesson in boundaries, detachment, discernment, and sometimes unconditional love from a distance.

It doesn’t mean you’re better than them. It doesn’t mean they’re lost causes. It just means they’re not choosing growth in this lifetime—or at least not right now.

Some Real-Life Examples

• The friend who still invites you to places and situations that you’ve outgrown—and gets salty when you say no.
• The partner who mocks your spiritual or emotional work but won’t look at their own behavior or triggers.
• The coworker who tries to bait you back into drama or negativity because your peace makes them uncomfortable.

And it’s not always toxic. Sometimes, it’s just neutral. People are where they are. You’ve changed, and they haven’t. And the more you evolve, the more obvious it becomes that not everyone wants the freedom you’re chasing—because freedom requires accountability. It requires work. And not everyone is willing to meet themselves that deeply.

What You Can Do

You don’t have to cut everyone off or shame them for not doing their work. That’s not growth—that’s ego in disguise. But you do have to protect your energy. You do have to stay committed to your path. And you do need to recognize when someone is no longer aligned with the version of you you’re becoming.

Let them stay where they are, if that’s their choice. But don’t shrink back to make them comfortable.

You’re not “better” because you’re healing. But you are different now. And that’s a good thing.

So keep going.

Because not everyone came here to grow—but you did.

Wishing you strength on your healing journey and the strength to hold fast while some around you stay stagnant. If you feel pulled to donate as an exchange of energy you may use the form below.