So there I was, new found strength, new found confidence, with a shit ton of knowledge and resources just ready to jump in and help others with my skills. I had been a Special Education Assistant for the previous 10 yrs and had helped multiple kids on the playground at recess manage their anger. I had also sat with kids during testing and showed them tools to focus and be present, when what they really wanted to do was run a marathon! How could I grow what I was already doing? I put out into the Universe that an opportunity to help kids in a bigger way would present itself to me. Shortly before Christmas my Principal came to me with a vacancy that would need to be filled in Behavior after break. I jumped on it and that was my focus for the remaining 3 years with the school district.

In that time I put a ton of effort into each and every kid I dealt with. I met them where they were, even if that was under a table or walking off school grounds just to show they would. I was called the most fantastic 4 letter words by a little girl who I will forever love and wish I could make my own, I helped the sweetest little boy manage emotions about choices his mom was making that affected him in a negative way, and spent personal money on basic things every child should have because the kids parents either couldn’t or wouldn’t.

I poured my soul into data that made no sense, I had my heart broken by a system that was fueled by the nonsense data so kids slipped through the cracks, and slowly lost myself and the energy to be there for my own family in the process. 3 years in Behavior broke me and the last school year I worked was right after COVID had us all locked up. The 2020-2021 school year had me manifesting change once again. Our school district sent out emails offering larger money incentives than usual to retire early or retire if you met the qualifications. The price was right and I put in my notice for that year to be my last.

This move had been slamming around in my head for at least a year. I had already started a “Business Page” on FB and IG called Mystikal Rootz. Since January 2020 I’d been sharing my wisdom through memes and long posts about the knowledge I had gained in my 40+ years in hopes it would help others. I had envisioned it turning into more by incorporating my skills and talents to help people on an individual basis. Since beginning the page I had done multiple tarot card readings, some Live videos on subjects of interest, added dōTERRA essential oils to the mix, and created a list of services I could do to help others. Working full time & needing to regenerate on the weekends was limiting the time I could be available. I had been just waiting for a sign that it was time to jump & this was that sign. I now am able to offer my skills and talents by appointment and work around just about any schedule. (Please visit https://www.facebook.com/MystikalRootz and give it a like! Check out my services while your there and help support a dream!)

That my friends brings us to NOW. At 46 years old I am a woman who has healed from a lot of shit. I am a modern day hippy of sorts who is passionate about natural oils, crystals, tarot/oracle cards and astrology. I am forever learning the ways of Eastern Philosophy and how it melts so magically with Western ways. Yoga & Meditation are imperative in my life and I’m so grateful for the gifts they have given me. I am fascinated by Neuroscience & Quantum Physics and have probably watched every YouTube video on the subject. The Brains ability to change and grow never ceases to amaze me and our bodies ability to heal itself is absolutely incredible! I am a trusted source for life advice, planetary happenings, holistic health, and a positive word when needed. I am addicted to Unicorns, glitter, rap music, coconut oil, hair dye, gel pens, sticky notes, and my husband. I often forget that I’m 46 yrs old so you will NEVER see me “acting my age”. During the summer months when the kids leave Wyoming to go to Georgia for summer visitation, we travel all over tent camping in nature. We move from one adventure to the next building my husbands photography portfolio, soaking in amazing sights, practicing yoga in the great outdoors, & connecting to our roots and each other. I’m an aspiring business owner who just wants to help others while also having the time and energy for her own family.

Looking back to Part 1 of this blog series, I have made remarkable changes in so many areas of my life. It is completely understandable that some have trouble wrapping their head around it. Such huge changes in personality and demeanor are very typical when people have gone through major healing and do the inner work such as I and so many others have done. I no longer participate in conversations that revolve around other peoples lives behind their backs. I take my WHOLE health very seriously and some take this as me being a stuck up health freak. (Nah, I’m just missing 6 inches of my colon so my dietary needs will differ from yours, and thats ok!) If you come to me with a personal issue, I give advice and it’s never repeated. I’m independent AF and rely on nobody to solve my problems for me. I’m confident as hell which is a BIG change from the broken woman I use to be. This can rub people the wrong way which I understand, but I won’t shrink myself to make others comfortable. I have so much gratitude for every damn struggle I endured and would change NOTHING for I am who I am today because of those struggles and my determination to overcome them. I have empathy for miles but at the same time, don’t cut others slack on their shit behavior. I call others out with my real talk because I wish others had called me out on mine years ago.

When we set out to make changes in our lives we are usually on a mission to find any and all ways to make those changes happen. We have been so spoiled with instant gratification and user ease that we mistakenly believe that healing from trauma, recovering from an addiction, or managing a mental illness can be handled quickly and painlessly. This is just not possible. When that promised quick fix doesn’t happen most people give up and end up right back where they were to begin with only now the feeling of defeat will keep them stuck even longer. From personal experience of doing the hard work over a course of 6 years now, I wouldn’t dream of using a “quick fix” method even if they did work. I have gained so much insight into myself that could never be discovered in a short time frame. I have years worth of journals to go back and read to find common themes when I am feeling uneasy. Example: November-February I become a monster every year like clockwork. Many huge trauma events since childhood happened in these exact months!! Subconsciously I think my mind, body, and spirit have been programmed that these months of the year are suppose to be chaotic! When no chaos presents itself, I create it because that always been my norm. All this was discovered by turning some pages to specific dates or months and then having the revelation that historically these months were always a shit show! That wouldn’t have been as easy to decipher without all those books documenting my healing process.

Honestly, change is hard as fuck! It’s hard to find genuine help that doesn’t break your bank account, it’s hard to do things your not use to in order to work through things you never intended to deal with, it’s hard for those around you who may not understand why you need the change, and it’s hard to trust the process and come to the realization that there is no REAL quick fix. Change and healing are lifelong tasks that will keep you discovering parts of yourself long after the super hard work is complete. Not everyone will be down for the new you and that is also ok. You will loose and gain people many times over on your journey and each one will be a teacher of sorts to help you continue on your path. I am not perfect, far from it. I am a constant work in progress and feel the tools I have can help many others as they have myself. Even the writing of this blog series has helped me heal even more by typing my story and owning it as mine. I never want to be perceived as a provider who promises quick fixes and magic instant results. I also am very clear that I can give you the tools but it is up to you to stick it out and do the work, no matter how long it takes!

So, who the hell do I think I am? Real talk, I don’t know the answer to that anymore than those who ask the question. I actually have no desire to figure it out either! Those who are wondering are either jealous of growth, projecting their struggle to make changes, or haven’t been in my circle for one reason or another so I owe them no answers. I know I’m NOT who I was, am not yet who I aspire to be, and am enjoying each phase of the transition into who I will become. I am a slightly cracked woman who has a passion to help others with my story. I am not better or less than you. I am you and you are me. We are just at different stages of our transformation and now that I’m a butterfly I’m so ready to finally fly💫

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