A basic guide to get started

I preach A LOT about how journaling is part of my everyday routine. I have multiple journals but that’s not typical. Quite frankly, my loved ones know how much I love to journal and if they see a pretty writing book, an actual labeled Diary, or even fun writing utensils they buy them as gifts. I am so excited when I am gifted things (especially Unicorn themed things!) that I can’t wait to write in it. If someone wanted to read about my thoughts after I pass they will need to search for dates in a shit ton of books because my journals resemble me, all over the place! Lol

I am asked questions all the time about my journaling practice so I feel it is time to write about how I established this routine. In this post I will answer some most frequently asked questions, give my tips and tricks on the consistency subject, and take the “Rules of Journaling” so many assume are gospel, and throw them out the window! This is YOUR practice & you make the rules!!

Are there REAL benefits to keeping a journal? Absolutely! A quick google search will lead you to an array of studies done by Psychs, Medical Doctors, Counselors, Universities, and media outlets on the positive effects of writing our thoughts. Improved memory, stress reduction, better sleep, lessens depression symptoms, reduces anxiety, strengthens the immune system, improves relationships, gives sense of wellbeing, and can even help you physically heal faster! WHAT!? Yep, putting those thoughts on paper reduces the stress an anxiety you feel, which in turn speeds the healing process!!

What kind of Diary should I get? They can get expensive! I get it, believe me. My social media newsfeeds are full of ads for the popular journal at the moment complete with fancy pages, beautiful inserts, and an eloquent hard back cover that snaps, zips, or my favorite, locks!! Don’t get me wrong, those are great and I have many in my circle that use the more formal Journals and have some friends who use bullet journals. (I have no advice on those…I tried once and just made designs! Lol) Honestly, my absolute favorite journals right now are blank, lined, hard cover books that are ringed so they lay flat and I can write back to front on the pages with no awkwardness. (Pro Tip: Check your Dollar Stores, Dollar Generals, & Family Dollar!!). I try to get lines because I need them but if I am gifted one without, I embrace my falling sentences or grab a ruler. Haha The most important thing about the actual journal is that YOU LIKE IT!

I tried journaling & couldn’t remember to do it every day, so I stopped. WHY?! Where is your journal? Go get it now! It honestly makes me so sad to hear that someone thinks thinks they “can’t” journal because they missed days or weren’t consistent when they began. Guess what? I miss days! Iv’e missed weeks even! It is totally OK when this happens. That is why I love just regular lined books with NO DATES! Then I am not skipping pages, wasting money, and beating myself up for all those blank days I have to turn past. Talk about defeating! Nope! If that old journal has dates in it, let’s just cross those off and put todays date in there. Like I said, take those “Rules” and throw them out! This is YOUR book and you get to change it in anyway that helps YOU! Same goes if you have an undated Journal. If your reading this than your curiosity has spiked and your going to want to go grab the diary you gave up on, no need to buy anything new!

How can I get in the habit when I don’t always have something to write. I am SO GLAD when asked this question! It gives me a chance to bring up one of my favorite ways to journal…Gratitude Journaling! I always kept a diary as a teenager but fell off the habit as an adult. Understandably given all the emotions and drama a teen girl has compared to a busy mom, wife, and adult in general. When I picked the habit back up for good I began keeping a Gratitude Journal. Each evening I would write 3 things I was grateful for that day. When I began researching the benefits of gratitude, I changed that practice to the morning. Beginning your day with gratitude sets the day up for success! Declare what your grateful for at the start of your day and more things will be attracted to you to make you more grateful! (Law Of Attraction, it’s kinda my thing!) If you’re more of a night writer than this can for sure be done at night. The key to this ritual is no pressure to write pages. A simple list of 3 things that may only take 3 lines and then the next day you just write the date on the same paper under your list from yesterday! This is a quick way with TONS of mental health benefits to get you in the habit of putting pen to paper. (Again, no stress if you skip!)

Does it HAVE to be a book? Can I do a diary in an app or computer? So this is a debate I have with my husband that I have finally come to an understanding about. I personally LOVE to write! I have fountain pens, gel pens, felt tip pens, and pens that write in glitter! I love what it feels like to have my thoughts pour out onto smooth paper in an ink of my choosing and get some insane satisfaction from it. My husband LOVES to type! Put him on technology of any type and he is immersed! He keeps a running journal on his laptop and sorts through whatever thoughts he has clogging up his head with his fingers a blaze on a keyboard. But, does he get the same benefits as me? Well, it pains me to say this but yes, yes he does. His thoughts are sorted out, his stress lessens with each tap of the keys, and he has it set up to be on all devices so he has his journal in his phone so he always has access! (I have intentions of being one of those people who carry a journal with them but as of now, I have yet to get there…YET!). So my answer to this is an overwhelming YES! Download that app or open a new document and do your thing!

I did the Gratitude Journal but have the same 3 things the last few days. This is common when you first begin a gratitude journal. You can be grateful for the smallest of things and you will still reap the rewards of a daily gratitude practice. Don’t be afraid to get VERY basic here. * I woke up this morning * I made it through the day * I have my basic needs (water, food, shelter) * I have a job * I have a loving spouse * My kids are getting along * I drank my coffee while it was still hot See what I’m saying here. Every little thing that brings you the smallest amount if joy or comfort can be part of a gratitude practice.

I just can’t write everyday. My life is great so I have nothing to journal about. If your life is wonderful, AWESOME! Write about it in your journal! What amazing things happened in your life? Are you planning a trip? Write about it! Get a promotion at work? Celebrate it with an entry! There is a misconception that journals are meant to vent and bitch so you’re not venting and bitching to others. Sure, journals are great to write out things we prob don’t need to be saying but that can lead to a book full of bitches. When you go back and read years in the future do you just want to relive the shit or do you want to laugh and smile at the good times too? As far as writing every day. I HIGHLY recommend that you do especially when 1st beginning. (It only takes 30 days to form a habit. You can make a 30 day commitment, right?).

I have bad experiences with others reading my private thoughts so I can’t keep a journal. To be totally transparent, I have had this happen more times than I want to remember. I understand how violated it feels to have someone read your journal. I think the way I described it once was being raped with my own private thoughts and words. It is a betrayal that cuts deep and a trauma you need to work through in order to not pass on that deep distrust to others who may have no intentions of hurting you in that way. You can do this! There are a few different ways you can slowly step back into the world of diaries. Let’s find one that will work for you!

1.). I recommend your very first action be to let your loved ones know that you’re keeping a journal. They may see you writing in it and curiosity is human nature. Take the mystery out of it and let them know what you’re doing. They may want to get their own started!

2.) Your choice of book to write in will depend on your circumstances. A regular book that has no identifying labels wouldn’t advertise that it’s a journal. On the other hand, if left in a public area of the home, an unassuming family member could accidentally open it without knowing what it is. The reverse could be said if you have a book with a label. Personally, when I began again I purchased a blank book that easily fit in my work bag. That security of having it packed with me and in a personal bag really helped me get comfortable writing my thoughts again. (Plainly put, I hid it for awhile!!)

3.) Depending on your trust level, pull out your book and show it to household members. (When your ready) Make it VERY clear what it is & make it VERY clear that it is OFF BOUNDS!! Be vulnerable with your family on any negative experiences you have had with journals and explain how much courage it is taking you to try again. Explain to them the courage it is taking you to embark on this journey and how you expect them to honor your privacy. (If the person who read your journal before is still in your life, this will be a reminder to them of how their actions affected you & show your strength to not give up a healing tool due to the actions of others)

4.) Have a secure spot as I felt I had in #1. My work bag/purse was something only I accessed so it felt safe to me. I was also writing on my lunch break at first so it was handy. I have journals in drawers, placed in between clothes on shelves, in between mattresses, and I even had one under my meditation cushion once. Until I felt comfortable to have a journal on my bedside table, I hid them! This is where having a classic locking Diary can helpful in decreasing worry. If someone REALLY wants to read we all know they can work around the lock, but who wants to put in the effort and pretty much guarantee getting caught. This is also why many choose online or digital journals due to the security they provide.

5.) Begin with a straight up Gratitude Journal. If someone does happen to read it, they aren’t reading a private feeling or vent. You can still reap the benefits or a daily journal practice while you test the waters on your trust level. I legit put a piece of my hair in one of my journals and checked for it to be moved. When a month had passed, I then knew I could trust my current husband. I told him afterwards & instead of being upset that I had tested him, he was compassionate about my previous betrayal. ***PRO TIP: If someone is concerned that you’re speaking about them in your journal & feel they have a right to know what you have written, BUY A SAFE! Said person is probably narcissistic and believes you can only be writing about them or things to do with them. The chances of them not respecting your personal boundaries is pretty high & you will need to be more creative. (2 journals; One for personal thoughts to be stored with you or in a safe & another for a daily Gratitude list to be kept by your bed)

To embark on the path of daily journaling is to begin a relationship with yourself, mind, body and soul. You get to make the rules for the relationship and how you want it to help you grow. This is your journey and only you get to decide what you desire for an outcome. When we place rules and stipulations on tools for healing it becomes easy to give up if we slip as we begin. Show yourself some grace as you begin this process. Once you have a habit established, then decide how you want to keep yourself accountable to follow your new self care routine. The most important thing to remember as you begin this process is to ACTUALLY DO IT!! Whether it’s a few lines, a gratitude list, or a page of vents or accomplishments, get something down every day…

So, what do you think? Can you create a journaling habit? Feel free to light up the comment section with questions and check back for more tips and tools to living your best life!

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