I have said NO to so many things that have given me power to say YES to so much more.

My entire life I have been a people pleaser. This comes from my childhood of putting myself in the middle of arguments with my parents, trying to not add to stress of our home, and wanting so so badly to be included in the group of kids I grew up with who were ALL related in some way. This followed me through school, into both of my previous marriages, my career, and every damn situation of my life…Until it didn’t!

I am not one to make slow changes. In the exact moment I get tired of my own shit or have my eyes opened to someone else’s shit, I make swift and sometime brutal changes. This often leaves others wondering what just happened and feeling a bit shell shocked and to be honest, their reactions or responses don’t play into my decisions at all. Whether I am switching things up that I have noticed with myself or making changes with what I allow from others, it is literally ALL about ME. Part of NOT being a people pleaser means you gotta be a bit selfish and there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that! Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not some self centered bitch who moves through life without any consideration for others. I’m an empath, that just isn’t possible. That being said, when it involves MY energy, MY whole body health, MY goals and dreams, or MY lifestyle choices…I 100% make moves without worrying how others will feel or react. THAT is how I know that I am no longer a people pleaser!

So, what have I rejected?

• Connections with people who refuse to fix themselves and use me as a dumping ground.
• Connections with others who have no intention of evolving, growing, and leveling up.
• Making other peoples problems my own
• Giving myself “permission” to slip off routines and rituals that support me. (break days)
• Not speaking up when I feel wronged even if that makes others uncomfortable
• Staying quiet about beliefs because they aren’t “popular” or accepted by society
• Society norms like working yourself to exhaustion, building credit, insurance, western medicine, pharmaceuticals, organized religion, saving accounts in banks, mainstream media, politics & voting, and your classic sticks and bricks homes that come with loans written in ways that ensure you will never pay them off.
• “Friends” who I thought would be part of my circle for a lifetime, but ended up being unaligned with nothing in common as we became adults. I wish them well but we have nothing to even talk about so…bye bye!
• Disrespect of any kind
• The need to pass ideas by others I have for my business or my life to hear “Oh I like that” or “Thats nice but….” NOPE! I just DO and adjust as needed.
• Being the mediator in ANY situation! (This is a recent decision and this time I finally learned)
• Faking a personality that isn’t mine just to be seen as more mature, more intelligent, and less hippy woo-woo.

This was just off the top of my head but I know there are many more. I set boundaries around some situations, people, and most importantly myself. I made hard cuts in places that my energy could no longer support, and have made decisions about how I want to live life that for sure makes others think I have lost my damn mind! Lol Those “others” tho are still around to have such opinions because they in no way shape or form try to change me. These people chuckle, say “not for me” and then a million percent back my choices for ME! (Thats how you know you REALLY found your Circle!) They too are rejecting what doesn’t feel right for them and totally understand that journey.

“NO” really is a complete sentence and the empowerment you get after you get comfortable enough to say it with confidence, makes you want to say “No” and reject things your not OK with more and more. When you start rejecting what is not aligned with the life you truly desire, SO MUCH comes to you that IS aligned! When that begins you get practice to push through fears and say YES to the things you never thought possible! What you reject energetically makes more room and space for these things to find a home with you, and those things invite more aligned people, situations, and opportunities.

This is absolutely not an easy process. Those things you are saying “No” to, and the people, places, and situations that begin to exit have real feelings attached to them. There is a grieving process similar to death that you will most likely feel. Emotional attachment to what you thought at one time was healthy doesn’t just disappear because you have discovered differently. Guilt can be huge as you let go of the imagined responsibility you had to fix everyone problems and be the “Yes” in their lives. It is Ok to feel this and reminds you that you are not a cold hearted selfish asshole. If you were, you wouldn’t feel anything at all. Just be sure to not allow that feeling to give you an excuse to cave to those things you have said “No” to.

Life is just too damn short to live it for others. As I look towards my 50th trip around the Sun this December I am thankful I have rejected so much the last 10 yrs and learned the power of “No” sooner than my mom did. I can only hope that those of us who the younger generations listen to can spread this message of “No is a complete sentence” and maybe they will learn even earlier. One moment you are in your 20’s and trying to find yourself and the next your in your 40’s and have lived everyone else’s life but yours. That’s the reality, but it doesn’t have to be… What can you reject today?

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